The savior of squirrels

Let me preface this blog entry by saying that my neck still hurts. Badly. I visited the chiropractor yesterday, a pretty cool guy recommended to me by my friend Marianne. I have never been to a chiropractor before so I was unsure of what to expect; I only knew I wanted pain to go bye bye. Thankfully this chiropractor both accepted my insurance and was right up the street from my apartment.

Without boring you with too much detail about how I'm convinced there is a small, yet angry gnome taking residence inside my neck who spends her time kicking the muscles in there and twirling the nerves around like fresh hot spaghetti on a fork, the chiro concluded that I have inflamed neck joints and he promptly sent me to get X-rays. And that whole experience was bizarre. No matter how hi-tech and electronic the world becomes, X-rays and machines and photographing inside the body will always seem dystopian to me. I was given a copy of the films to take to the doctor on Monday and looked at them when I got home. I tried to decipher anything at the base of my skull and neck but it was all a ball of yarn to me. Nothing gnome shaped though. Those neck gnomes are tricksy.

The chiropractor did put these electrical pulses on my neck that felt so good that I wanted to crack up laughing. I need to get one of those machines surgically attached to my body so that I can always have it on and always be happy.

I slept pretty decently, considering everything and I owe that to a very late night "revelation" that came to me in the form of a dream. I had been dreaming about Adrien Brody reading a novel I wrote and in the dream he told me that the best advice he took away from my novel was that you have to use your arms. You just have to use your arms, he said. I woke up and instead of flipping over in bed to get more comfortable, I used my arms to lift my body up instead of just sitting up. It didn't hurt and now I just think Adrien Brody, aside form being my exact physical type of guy, is also a genius that appears to me in dreams to give me advice.

This morning as I drove to work, I almost ran over a squirrel, which would have devastated me. He got out of the way in time and because I had slowed down for him, I was well able to slow down for the second squirrel who darted out in front of my car immediately after him. I wouldn't call myself the savior of squirrels or anything but I am the savior of squirrels.

That's all I got. Whachu got?