- Don't drink champagne. This one is specifically for me but may apply to you. When you drink champagne, you spend the entire next morning wishing you were dead and/or capable of travelling through time either forwards to wait out the hangover or backwards to hide ALL of the champagne.
- Don't ever plan on calling out sick from work. When you do that, you will get sick and the congestion will not leave your body until even your cats seem disgusted with you.
- Sometimes, through the haze of liquid cold remedies and used up snotty tissues, all you need is a GQ magazine with Bill Murray on the cover to get you through.
- When you actually decide to shut your mind to the endless stimulation of things like television, the internet and your damn iPhone, you can read three novels in two days, all the more remarkable considering it took you four months to finish the last one you read.
- Going to the movies alone is one of life's great, unsung pleasures. Do this as often as possible. It is especially fun when you sit next to someone just chatty enough to talk to you before the movie, but polite enough to shut up the rest of the time. There are bonus points for sitting next to an old, obviously married for an eon couple that has this conversation:
Man (annoyed. this is how I know they were married b/c who else would get
annoyed at someone for feeling nauseous?):
Why? What the hell is wrong with you?
Woman: I might throw up.
Man: I don't know you.
Woman: I'll aim for your face.
They kissed after this exchange.
- QVC, HSN,SNBC....all 24/7 shopping networks are mesmerizing in the way that old timey hypnotists were mesmerizing for someone who loves to shop. They are also, however, very useful for background noise and a good way to not spend money by taking the instant gratification of buying out of the equation: I don't WANT to wait for that ring shaped like a diamond frog. I'd feel better if I could just have it now. (Addendum: seeing "celebrities" on these channels including but not limited to Joan Rivers, Isaac Mizrahi, one or more Kardashian, etc.) is so depressing and I can't figure out why. Btw, I might get Joan Rivers' glitter scarf.
- Sometimes the only way to feel like you are on your way to getting what you want is to give up in your mind and heart and soul; just let go of the want and it can quite literally begin to happen. This one has to be perfectly cryptic since what I'm talking about hasn't fully happened yet but certainly did begin today.
- If you do something like, say, volunteer at a local indie movie theater and that theater decides to throw a party for their volunteers, go to the party. You will have fun. You will meet interesting people who know what you are talking about and have their own stories.
- After spending about four days essentially marooned in your apartment, buried under snotty tissues with your nose in a book and your voice on hold, it is so nice to meet new people over tiny plastic cups of wine and a beautiful spread of cheese and crackers and grapes in January.
- When you make an onion casserole, be prepared for your apartment to smell like cooked onions for a week.
- Take drowsy cold medicine before 9pm so you can sleep a full six hours before getting up to officially start your week.
- Finish your blog before the meds kick in.