Monday, April 23, 2012

I Never Wore Zubaz

Some observations that have occurred to me in the last, oh let's say, three hours.

1) I had some free time today in between jobs and decided to go return something and do what my grandmother and aunt used to call "taste" at the stores. In actuality that just means going from clothing store to clothing store (read: one Macy's to another) and looking around with little to no intention of buying anything and just killing a few hours. This was a rite of passage for me when I was moved up here at age 12 and I'd be lying if I said that since day one I didn't love every second of it. So sue me; I'm often a very stereotypical woman. Anyway, one store I wandered into to taste contained clothing that I can only sufficiently describe as "aggressively 80s." I'm well aware of the retro vibe that every single season carries with it. (Side note: There was a very interesting item on NPR over the weekend about the nature of nostalgia that you can (and should) read here.) Apparently, the present culture becomes obsessed with the culture that came roughly 40 years before it.  But if the cycle of pining for things every 40 years is to be believed, I wish someone could explain why I saw these in the store today:

Cue Saved By the Bell music.

Ok, maybe they were not Zubaz per se but they were very, very close. The 80s were not 40 years ago were they? And don't we all, who lived through them, always, infallibly look back at photos of us in godawful outfits and say "never again" with solemnity? This store was filled with example after example of this kind of "in your face" ugliness: cropped shirts that were jagged at the hems, neon yellow fake Ray Ban imitations, large plastic earrings. Why? I was enjoying the 90s revival that seemed to be going on recently what with leggings and vests and tunics and the Pulp reunion. But this is bananas. In addition, in all of my many versions of utopia, stores have no music playing. I do not require music to spend hours upon hours in a clothing store but somehow today's clothing stores always find the EXACT song that will make me want to leave immediately. Today the song was Rihanna. Her voice is annoying in a "I can't really sing but I'm hot" kind of way.  I remember fondly the one tape of Muzak we used to play when I worked at Barnes and Noble. It had a killer rendition of Peter Gabriel's Mercy Street that no one paid attention to because it wasn't obnxiously pounding the walls for attention. If there must be music in a store, it should be nondescript and hovering in the background, not booming in your head for hours after you leave.

2) There are more days during which I thank my lucky stars and the fates and whomever else is in charge that I have made it to my age and do not have children, than there are days in which I think I might actually be a good mother. I suppose this means that I'm not supposed to be a mother? In the span of one reference desk shift, I witnessed no fewer than five tweens tell off their parents, loudly and in full view of a large group of people. One kid even said to his father "What the fuck? Are you stupid or something?" I wanted to punch him in the face. I don't know how I would react if I had a child and that child, through no real fault of mine, grew up to be a disrespectful shithead. My instinct tells me that my instinct would tell me to cut off all ties and financial support and buy the bar a round with his or her tuition money. What? Is that not feasible? I want to take this opportunity to say god bless you to the parents of children at any age (but especially of teenagers). No but for reals, do you want a drink? Because I will buy you one.

3) I just re-watched Kieslowski's Three Colors trilogy and I have astutely come to the conclusion that I fucking love Krzysztof Kieslowski and that watching a film directed by him is like watching poetry. That's all. 

4) There needs to be a social networking site that does for film watching what goodreads does for book reading. And by "needs to be" I mean that I'm positive that there is one but if someone could let me know, that would be awesome, awesome in a way that Zubaz could never be.


  1. I saw someone wearing pants like that the other day and I couldn't believe my eyes. Like that old joke, Whitesnake called & they want their pants back. I agree with you about the Three Colors and about a film site like goodreads. Yes, please.

    1. I wish I had any kind of web skill whatsoever because I would love to invent that website!

      I still can't believe the 80s are back Marie!

  2. Lol...ah yes I've sadly seen those god awful pants, believe it or not a few times at the gym! Ugh...horrific time for style it's true...except for some of the music. Still love some of those one hit wonders!

    Re: movie networking. I've always agreed! There's a pathetic section on Goodreads called, Movies We've Just Watched, but they have some work to do to make it a "forum."
    Then there's something called Flickchart I bumped into.I still always wanted to have one too and not just use various sites for reviews. Hate that. Heyyyyy....Let's just start one now!!!! I have free time :-)

    Three Colors are in my top picks of course! We should have had Netflix parties together!!!! Which one do you like the most if you had to put them in order? They are just poetic in every way it's true. I'm going to post you some others ones and see if you know them.

    1. Oh my goodness, to rank them in order is so hard! In each there were scenes that actually just slayed me with how beautiful they are. If I had to pick an order I'd say Red, Blue and White. But I adore that Polish actor. He is also in Decalogue X, though much, much younger. Also, is there anyone more French than Irene Jacob in Red?