Friday, December 4, 2015

Dieting, Dancing and Being a Big Fat Baby: An Update of No Consequence

It's been awhile. Last time I really updated in here I had passed a watershed moment in my writing life. I went further with it but did not "win" the month of November. No matter, I wrote more than I've ever written in my post-undergrad life and I've got a solid base to keep myself going. I shall finish my book. And then spend 30 years editing it.

I just watched Me and Earl and the Dying Girl film which was based on the excellent novel of the same name and it was a really beautifully shot, beautifully told and heartbreaking story. Some of the shots were really unique and the actors were so talented, I found myself lost in the story again. And crying. Like a big fat baby.

I'm on a Facebook diet. Like all diets I've ever been on, I'm immediately cheating. But honestly, I only read Facebook for the statuses. In fairness to me, I have a lot of witty and smart and informed and intelligent people on my feed. And how ELSE am I supposed to keep tabs on my fake Facebook boyfriends? I know what you're thinking: But Allison, if you just stopped being a huge dweeb and "put yourself out there" you could have an off-Facebook boyfriend. And I hear you. I truly do. The problem is when I try to practice what you preach (and by "you" I mean the other voice in the other part of my brain...the one that isn't a hot awkward mess) I end up turning into some version of a drunk 1920s flapper and an 80s robot. These are two things that do not go together so in addition to the sometimes jerky movements of my body when I get nervous, I am at war with awkward metaphors inside my brain 80% of the time. Besides, I DO put myself out there. I go out dancing, often to sad gloomy new wave pop and punk whenever I get a chance. And I meet tons of people. And none of them are serious because you can't meet anyone serious while dancing which is just contrary to common sense. You can pretty much tell immediately the kind of chemistry you have with someone when you dance with them. I feel like dating should have a compulsory dancing phase. Like a phase of a new relationship that comes right before the "going away together for the weekend" phase because frankly, all that matters to me is that a guy is willing to dance and I'm not going to pack my overnight bag and sit through an argument about directions if I'm not gonna get twirled around the floor a bit at the end of it. I can pretty much tell things won't work out if you refuse to dance out of fear of looking foolish or just because you are a killjoy of the highest order. I have first hand experience with this. Anyway, what the hell was I talking about? Oh yeah, Facebook. I'm not going on there for the time being. Or am I? I mean. I'm posting this. And I have to go on there for work. So I'm totally off Facebook. And carbs.

So, apparently not going on Facebook four hundred times a day has caused my stream of consciousness to idiotize. I made that word up just now. I can do that because I'm not looking at your Facebook profile right now.

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