Saturday, December 19, 2015


Pre-work Haiku

Hi. Today might blow
Because free toys will always
melt humanity.

My coworker just came in this morning and dumped a pile of Advil on the reference desk. There is a lot going on today. And it is all for the kids. I'm glad the kids will be happy but I'm still working on a way to have only kids allowed and not their parents. Because, and no offense meant whatsoever to non-annoying parents out there, sometimes parents ruin everything. Most kids are happy with the box the toy came in. And I get that parents want the best for their kids. I'm just mildly suggesting that perhaps a free toy giveaway at the library is not the place to flex those "I want the world for my kids" muscles. Perhaps you could cast a vote for a politician that has your children's interests at heart? Or maybe, I dunno, teach by example to not expect things worth having just handed to you? Or just teach them some gratitude when something IS just handed to you? I'm just spitballing here. Also, when something is free, it automatically precludes any and all complaints regarding the quality of the item. I mean if you are given something for free and it turns out to be good quality, go ahead and be happy about it. It is unexpected and that's how it should be. I can envision already later today that people will complain about the "quality" of the FREE toy their child was GIVEN...for free. You may think I am jumping the gun with this complaint since the toy giveaway hasn't happened yet. However, you'd be wrong because during sign ups for this program, the complaints already began. Just...hold me.

And maybe bring me a waffle. A FREE one.


  1. Yes. I remember fielding complaints at the bookstore that books marked down 75% weren't in good shape. Um, that's why they're only 25% of retail. If we gave them away I can't imagine.

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