Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Coupons, snark and 12% off

It is getting to the point where I can't resist a coupon, at the very large expense of my wallet. I keep repeating to myself that I will give it the 10 or so days left until Christmas and then I shall go on the leanest of debt diets in order to sculpt my finances into a shapely hourglass figure as opposed to the malnourished yet inflated blob it is currently. But I get an email with a new coupon every. There is an episode of Mad Men, it may even be the first episode ever when Don Draper tries to convince Rachel Menken that her store should use coupons and she scoffs at the idea, saying it isn't the direction she wants to go in. I always think when I re-watch that episode that I would totally go into Menken's department store if they offered a coupon. I would likely go in there and shop for a few hours and make a pile of selections and bring them to the till only to be told that I could not use that coupon on any of the items, not even the knight headed cuff links. And then I'd buy all the stuff anyway. And I'd buy knight headed cuff links too. I did this recently when I bought an assload of stuff for other people (and ok, maybe one or two items for myself) from for Christmas gifts. Since today is 12/12/12, they offered a 12% coupon. I just spent about an hour scouring the site for something else to buy JUST so I could use the coupon. I didn't find anything I'd be willing to pay shipping for so the coupon went to waste but still, the fact that I even considered it after the hemorrhaging of money I've been doing of late is telling, pathetic and not a little sad.

This week's New York magazine doesn't have many coupons. It is, however, a publication to which I subscribe and it does have their annual and always confounding "Reasons to Love New York Right Now" issue. I say it is confounding because I'd be comfortable estimating that 65% of it is stuff I don't get. And it isn't because I'm living on Long Island either. I didn't get the stuff they talked about or why any of it made New York so great even when I was living in Manhattan or Queens either. Here's an example that made the cut for this year's list:

#54: Because Scott Disick's restaurant didn't make it.

Firstly, I had to look up the name Scott Disick. Apparently he is in a relationship with a Kardashian. Putting aside the utter irrelevance in the grand scheme of things of the existence of this person or his relation to New York, why is his failure at opening a restaurant a reason to "love New York"? One thing that always bristled me about lists like these (and I'm not going to deny that this may be an attribute to the snarky culture we've come to lionize in this part of the country) is the confusion between "pride in one's city" and what really boils down to schadenfreude. I love New York and in particular New York City. However, the success or failure of some random reality television personality's venture has no bearing whatsoever on why or how much of that love happens. Also, it likely had little to do with the city itself because if we are talking about crappy restaurants, New York has just as many reasons to be hated. Also, again, who the f*ck is Scott Disick??

Having said that, I did like that they included a few heartwarming stories about the city in the wake of hurricane Sandy. They focused on some poignant stories that came out of Red Hook and the pretty stellar response from the city. Compared to the Long Island Power Authority, they should be freaking canonized.

I was having an ok day until I got to my second job, entered the door and everything suddenly annoyed the ever loving shit out of me. Also, I have two gaping holes in my tights, one of them hits right where my middle toe and "ring" toe are and are causing discomfort which is causing annoyance which is translating into a bunch of internal bitching and moaning. It is also translating into me visualizing throwing things out of a tall building window in the dark. Just random objects I can find lying around. Or maybe just doing this:

I don't know what's stopping me. I'm positive I could find a coupon to replace the dishes.

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