August 8, 2003

My mind is nowhere near my location right now. Please hold the line while I take a brief mental vacation Paris. Okay, I'm back. Ish.

Hey, do you ever read something you wrote, oh say, nine years ago? What do you feel when the old you comes to visit for awhile? The following entry is dated 8/8/03. I had just turned 27 and was living in Astoria, going to graduate school full time, working part time at my college, adding up the hours of the groundskeepers. I did this manually. I still remember the smell of the ink on those time cards, still remember my daily commute of two buses and a train to Flushing. I still remember feeling melancholy and old and all the things I was not. I also remember that this was a mere week before that huge blackout of the Eastern U.S. and how I kept having to check my meandering moods and deal with these strange anomalies that were happening in the city during those years. this would have been just a random Friday afternoon.


i woke up extremely groggy this morning after strange strange dreams. one of them involved me bleeding to death and only noticing when i saw the red stains on my clothes. the doctor told me an instant before i woke up that i had a case of the west nile virus. ok, then.

it is friday and i am relieved. in one week i will be on my way to florida to melt in the sun. i will be shitting a small brick on the plane, as it will be my first flight in a long time, roughly two years.

my mood of late is melancholy. perhaps i didn't sleep enough last night but at the moment i feel no energy to put forth my usual fronts. i would much rather roll right into some random bar and slowly wreck my mood. slowly feel opposite.

last night i noticed two strange marks on my body, origins unknown. these types of odd injuries displace me just a bit. make me feel that perhaps in my secret life, i have at least unruly potential. the first is a scratch, pretty deep one at that just above my right knee. the second is a bruise just near my left elbow.

it would appear that i am tumbling headfirst into my 27th year.


I just happened to think of my old journal today; my vacationing mind went back there for a bit. I may do this again because sometimes it is good to look back to what was going on in your life 9 years ago. Sometimes it is good to remember that you have lived for longer than you can remember.