Monday, August 27, 2012

Back to Work (and other exercises in heartbreak)

We are entering the home stretch of this Blog Everyday in August-o-rama and I can't say I'm unhappy. I do enjoy blogging the minutiae and underwhelming aspects of my everyday totally normal life but sometimes, just sometimes, when you stumble home after a long day of a staycation, and you may or may not have been drinking and eating to your heart's content, you just want to go close your eyes and fall asleep in the middle of playing words with friends on your phone. But the committment to blog lingers in your hazy brain, like notions of not locking the front door or not feeding the cat and, just like those situations, you must oblige your self created obligations.

Here are a couple of things that have occurred to me today, the day of the return to my normal work schedule:

a) The stray cat that I fed last week is still hanging around my apartment complex. I saw him again last night and early this morning as I walked to my car and he had a friend with him. My fleeting hopes that he belonged to someone in the complex were dashed completely when I saw him just lying around the parking lot, collarless and nonchalant. I don't want to care about stray cats. It is an exercise in heartbreak.

b) When I deviate from the workday routines for a full week, I forget how to do very basic things, the repetition of which on a normal schedule are rote tasks. An example is showing my ID to the security guards at the front desk of my first job. I was very nearly scolded when I had the nerve to walk right past the desk before flashing the ID. It turns out that I neglected to even bring it with me, which is something that one of the guards hates. I have heard this man yell down the hallway at someone for not showing their ID. This, despite the fact that the employee has worked there for ten years, seems to be what he lives for and I almost fell prey again. When I consider that the highlight to someone's day is the pride they take in a truly pointless task such as checking ID's of incoming students and employees ad infinitum for years and  years until retirement, I feel my heart break again, just a little.

c) Returning to work after a week away and finding yourself unmissed and with not a whole heck of a lot to do (of any importance whatsoever) is something I find oddly comforting. I may be in the minority here, but I'm comforted to know that life carries on without me. I mean sure, my heart broke a little when one of my coworkers told me they missed me. But I know any schlub could be hired to do my job eventually.

d) I miss being on vacation with the passionate heat of a thousand suns. A thousand lazy, sleepy, sweaty suns. Waking up at 5am this morning, glancing at the clock and doing very accurate math to determine exactly how many times I could hit snooze (why are snoozes ALWAYS in increments of nine minutes??) before it would become too late to look presentable for work was a lesson in heartbreak. My cats peered up at me with sleepy eyes that seemed to say "Why, God? Why?"

e) I complain too much about work. I'm going to try to stop. It just feels so easy on my first day back. Is there an allowance for that? It would break my heart if there wasn't.

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